Question

Now that fall is here, I’m increasingly feeling lonely. I sleep a lot and can’t focus when I work. No matter what I do, everything seems to be lacking. No matter what I do these days, I feel lonely.

Answer

As the seasons point away from summer, the daylight hours tend to get shorter and the duration you are exposed to sunlight thus decrease. In reaction to the decrease in light, the body secretes increased doses of the hormone, melatonin, which tends to cause a temporary feeling of loneliness and downed emotions.
There are people who are more sensitive to this change and easily fall into depression.
If you are one of those people, then take this as an opportunity to overcome it.

First, adjust to a lifestyle with a regulated and balanced diet with the necessary nutrition.
A lifestyle with order and regulation will help you keep a rhythm that you can maintain.

Instead of psychologically forcing yourself to fight through the loneliness, you must accept that you are indeed, lonely. When you accept the emotion, you will no longer be controlled by it but will be able to control it.
Many among the famous and great minds of the past had loneliness within them.
Some directed their loneliness to create art; some used the loneliness to ponder into their minds, or to express their loneliness to their surroundings.
You do not need to force a smile to pretend you are okay. If you reach out, you can receive help from those around you.
Take a moment to listen to the advice given to you, and you may discover why you are feeling lonely and it may become an opportunity to change all that.

Self-reflection is also an effective method to overcome loneliness.
Loneliness may come from both happy and unhappy memories of your past, or even from your tendencies.
If you solve the problems of your past through reflecting back on yourself, it will be of tremendous help in overcoming your loneliness.

Question

“I’m an office worker in my early 30s, worked my way up at the company I work for, and have pretty much settled down. When I first started my work, I had a lot of passion and had areas that I wanted work in. I had so many ideas that I wanted to bring to life that I often found myself living at work. Days have gone by and now that I’ve gotten used to the regime, I find myself asking “Is this the right work for me?” and jobs that I haven’t tried till now start to come to mind. I’m seeing some of my friends quit their jobs to travel or to do something else with their lives. What should I do?

Answer

If you are having doubts about your work and you feel like your flame has died out, it may be beneficial take a moment or two to recoup.  At those moments, how about you think about the following?

1. Write down what you think are the most important factors when choosing your line of work.

• Pay rate, professional achievement, growth potential, job location, etc.

2. Write down what you think is important in your current work life.

3. Now, look at what you have written down and take a moment to think why those things are so important to you.

• Try considering: what you studied at school, the dreams you had, the meaning of your work, working conditions etc.
• The most important thing is thinking that you are the most important, that it is your decision.

4. Considering all these things, see what you really want to do and want to head towards.

• Doesn’t matter if you are doing them now, or if it’s something else.

Question

“I have a job that requires my smile. For that, a lot of people think I am always happy. But in truth, that is not the case at all. Especially these days I have no motivation for anything and my migraines have gotten worse”

Answer

Often workers, especially those in the service industry, are subjected to emotional labor. This type of behavior required in emotional labor is called ‘surface acting.’ It refers to an act toward clients, regardless of one’s own mood. Kind and caring treatment towards all clients in various working conditions is required. At times the workers need to put their professional roles ahead of their physical or emotional hardships.

Some workers of the emotional labor industry have said this.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t know which is the real me. I don’t even feel intimacy when I’m with my family” For these people, it seems that their professional training to give service comes out automatically even when they are with their family.

1

The very first step is to own your emotions. Your work and your emotions must be separated. Make some time for yourself to subdue your emotions and to ‘self-reflect’ upon all your emotions. Through self-reflection you can recognize your own emotions and recover your ‘self’.

2

It is also important to receive emotional warmth from people who are close to you. Maintaining and nurturing your emotions through good relations with your coworkers, family, friends, colleagues and others around you will be remarkably helpful.

3

At times, it is necessary to have a hobby that allows you to shake off the emotions (ex. vigorous exercise).

1. Organize: Make the workspace comfortable

2. Stretch: Loosen up your body

3. Meditate: Take a brief moment to self-reflect

4. Smile: Let it out

5. Gratitude: Take on a grateful mindset

6. Plan: Create a To Do list for the day

Question

“I’ve been working for this company for three years now. Recently, I was relocated to the main headquarters from anexternal rotation program. Now, I find myself tormented by this senior coworker. He started commenting on my work, now he is picking on me for the way I dress. I know that I am not the best dresser out there, but I don’t see the importance in my style as long as I my work gets done properly. Sigh… now he calls me up separately once a week to pester me with this and that. I have thought about transferring out or even quitting work because of this coworker. What should I do? Any advice would be great.”

Answer

I’m not sure if the reason your coworker is pestering you is solely about your clothes but if so, how about touching up on your dress code?
At a place where many people congregate, it may be important on how you present yourself by the way you dress. It may not be about grabbing everyone’s attention by dressing up, but it is important to dress to fit the setting. That’s why it is about the right T(Time), P(Place), O(Occasion).

1. See what kind of clothes are in your wardrobe

• Is there only one style of clothing?
• Are there only clothes that I find comfortable?
• Has it been a while since you last shopped for clothes?
• Think about your laundry cycles too.

2. Think about how you pick your clothes.

• Do you wear whatever your parents get you?
• Do you copy the style on your favorite actors/actresses?
• Do you buy off the mannequins at the store?

3. Let’s find the clothes that are right for you.

• Think about the style in how your colleagues dress: on their way to work or during meetings.
• See how your clothes differ from theirs.
• Look for the clothing styles of your girlfriend’s or girl friend’s favorite celebrities.
• Then ask the people around you to which celebrity’s style you would look best in.

4. Now, wear it out!

• Try on the clothes that you’ve been recommended or from the style of celebrities that suits you best.
• From those, find the ones that fits your form and are comfortable.
• Then, from the clothes you picked, ask your girlfriend or girl friend how you look in them.

Voila, now you can find a style outside your wardrobe that you like to wear.

Documents and reports that take days to read, meetings that I must attend, all the work that I’m responsible for… I always thought I was swamped with too much work. I always had a work migraine. After a deep breath, I would look around but all my coworkers were on the same boat.

According to a research, you subjected to 4.2 hours of stress a day on average (Average of 40 Mins on your way to work, 30% or 2.4 hrs on a 8 hour working day, 1 hour of 2.5hrs of alone time ex. having a pint of beer)

When you are subjected to stress for 20% of your day, your own method to manage that stress is crucial.

Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Mark Zuckerberg would often wear the same clothes every day to reduce decisional stress, and would at times take a moment to reset their minds.

Many people drink coffee, take a nap, workout or have a drink.

For me, I mediate. Meditation allows my mind to calm down, increase attention to detail and reduce stress by allowing me to observe, rethink and review stressful situations. I visit the meditation centre or take a moment to look outside the window while in transit to meditate. These moments are extremely helpful for me to organize my mind and reduce stress.

Pause and stop your complicated thoughts. That repetitive life will change.