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Be Yourself Completely

There was a triangle, a square, and a circle. The triangle and square always thought the circle looked good and were envious. So they started shaving off their own corners. Did the triangle and square succeed in becoming a circle?

 

The triangle and square could not become circles, but they also ended up unable to be the complete triangle or square they once were. When a triangle or square was needed, because they didn’t have corners, other triangles and squares were used instead. If the triangle and square hadn’t compared themselves to the circle and didn’t feel envy or inferiority, what might have been?

 

Rather than living a life based on other people’s standards, what other people think, and what looks good, when you reflect on and understand yourself and find for yourself the life that you should live, that is the start to a happy and complete life.

 

Don’t Want To Do The Work But Have To? Try Saying “OK”

Question

At work, there are many occasions when I have to make myself work on something that I don’t like. It doesn’t seem to suit me well and things don’t go as intended, so I wonder if it’s really necessary that I do it. Then when I look at my colleagues and superiors around me who adjust well and work hard, I start feeling inferior.

 

Answer

Not everything in the world will happen your way. As you work, you may have to do work that doesn’t exactly suit you, but there are also many times that you will work on something that does. This is the case for everyone at any job. Rather than contemplating about whether or not you should do that job, how about saying “OK”? But if you still feel too unsure at the moment you decide, try the following steps.

 

1. Reflect on yourself about why you don’t want to do the work.

Why don’t I want to do it? What do I seek to gain from that work? Ask yourself such questions and reflect. Do I not want to do the work because it doesn’t suit my personality? Or because I don’t like the people I work with? Or because there’s no sense of achievement? Or because it is overwhelming? Look into your mind and find the reasons why.

 

2. If you have to do the work even if you don’t want to, then say OK.

If you say “OK”, you can at least start to make yourself work. Once you accept the work that you don’t want to do, then you can start to see the positive aspects of it and will gain courage that you can do it. Thinking that you don’t want to do it will make you dislike the work more, but if you say “OK”, your attitude can change. Additionally, if you throw away the various mindsets and thoughts that you found in the previous step through meditation, you will be able to say “OK” more easily. Since not everything in the world will be something you want to work on, if you overcome one task at a time, you will grow to become a better you.

 

You Can’t Make Everyone Happy

Question

As I work, I come across many people. But it’s difficult to satisfy everyone. When I draft a business proposal, some departments have complaints while other departments like it. It’s not easy to find a compromise between all the opinions and there are many moves I can’t make because of regulations, but there are times that I get all the criticism. Although these are proposals for the well-being of the company, people always have something to complain about for every proposal, so I lose self-esteem and don’t know what to do.

 

 

Answer

Craigslist founder, Craig Newmark said, “Realize that you can’t make everyone happy.”

First, you must admit that no one can satisfy everyone. No one is perfect and can do everything. That’s why it is a company; it is important to have procedures to mediate between different opinions and make them meet and to find ways for everyone to work together. More than anything, you must find yourself. It is possible that the work you do doesn’t suit your personality or isn’t for you. But you should first reflect on yourself about whether your current job is difficult simply because of relations with other people or because of personality. Work is difficult for anyone. But you probably know what you were thrilled and focused on, even though things didn’t happen your way. That is the meaning of life that moves you. Meditation is a process to reflect deeply on yourself to understand yourself. Hopefully, meditation can become an opportunity for you to find yourself. And based on your question, it seems like you are truly positive when trying to make something work. Most people believe that flowing with the given conditions or environment is doing their best, but that is because they value the external environment more than themselves and have given up on themselves. If you take no action, nothing will work out.

4 Benefits Of Being Introverted In Personal Relationships

“I’m not really a funny person. So I’m afraid I might get left out.”

There are people who have always, since the day they were born, been anxious and nervous to meet new people. Commonly called ‘introverts’, they get nervous because they don’t know what to say to a person they meet for the first time. Introverts may seem extremely calm on the surface, but they often struggle internally under the pressure of thinking ‘I should say something.’

 

“I laugh easily, but I’m quiet and reserved. I’m calm and tend to listen more.”

“It’s stressful when it’s quiet and I am with only one other person. I don’t know what to say.”

Nowadays, businesses tend to favor extroverts. People who can liven up a business party attract more attention. Maybe it is because of this societal trend that being introverted has become an inferiority complex that people want to hide, leading to more people who pretend to be lively and sociable.

 

 

Introverts Somehow Attract

There are many people who are inborn introverts. It is said that introverts make up about half of the entire world’s population. Introverts are people whose energy is most often pointed inward. So they are often thought to be quiet and reserved. Then are introverts at a disadvantage?

 

The answer? Not always. Rather, they are more attractive. With the standard of whether a person is ‘extroverted or not’, it is difficult to see the benefits of introverts. But in terms of ‘how one treats people’, introverts have many merits. And are quite attractive, too. So much so that one would definitely want an introvert as a friend.

 

For introverts who do not know their own merits, here are ‘4 handpicked benefits of being an introvert’.

 

 

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Benefit 1. The Power of Listening – They actively listen to what others say

It is widely accepted that ‘listening’ is the most important skill when communicating with others. Listening is very important. Yet ‘active listening’ seems to be a difficult task. There are very few conversations in which I’ve felt that the other person was truly listening to me. You might wonder, ‘What is so difficult about just listening?’ But think about this: when a friend opened up to you and explained, ‘Something happened and it was really hard for me,’ have you ever just tossed back, ‘Yeah, but it seems like you started off in the wrong place,’ or ‘How about doing it this way?’ Or were there times that people complained, ‘Can’t you just listen?’ That is how few people truly relate as they listen. Introverts are strong active listeners. Being a strong listener rather than finding enjoyment in talking is a typical characteristic of introverts. It is noticeable in their personal relationships, too. They don’t say much, but they find comfort just being in each others’ presence. And it is easy to open up to such people. Of course, how well you listen will depend on your efforts. However, if you can bring out an innate tendency and develop the ability to sincerely relate, that can be a huge benefit.

 

 

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Benefit 2. They are reliable and trustworthy

Introverts are careful when getting to know a person. Since they may not always respond easily to what others say, people might be taken aback by the lack of response. But the amount of thought and caution they invest when developing a personal relationship also makes the bond that much harder to break. Once a bond with another person develops, it only gets stronger and rarely breaks. This brings to mind a television program from an education broadcasting system that analyzed the manner in which introverted students and extroverted students at a high school treat people around them. How the students described the typical ‘characteristic of introverts’ was most interesting.

“There are times when it feels like they put me before themselves.”

“It’s hard to get close to them at first, but once we get friendly, we connect at a very deep level.”

“Introverted kids seem more trustworthy.”

“I find myself opening up about any worries on my mind to these kids. They seem likely to keep it secret.”

“Even if I don’t contact introverted friends often, there’s still something there.”

The level of trust and their reputation are quite positive, aren’t they? Actual research has also shown that introverted students have high scores in ‘trustworthiness’. When searching ‘personal relationships’ on the Q&A section of a famous search engine, there are many questions along the lines of ‘I’m afraid people won’t like me because I’m introverted.’ But people have a soft spot for introverts. Even if introverts might fluster people at first, they have the huge benefit of being as trustworthy as a simple, honest tree.

 

 

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Benefit 3. They focus on you

They have great ability to concentrate; likewise, they are able to focus on people as well. Introverts tend to think before speaking or taking action. Their consideration for others originates from this tendency. They have the ability to think about and consider ‘How is that person feeling? What would s/he want?’ For example, they would take some time consider their friends’ feelings and interests before doing anything. As a team leader, an introvert would be able to catch details like what the team members’ interests, their thoughts, and what they don’t like to hear, and lead them accordingly. Such ability shines even brighter when dealing with someone important, such as a significant other. They might not hear things like ‘It’s fun to be around you’, but they probably would hear ‘It’s comfortable to be around you, so I want to be with you more often.’ There is a CEO who avoids standing in public, almost like an anthrophobic. He finds it so difficult to be in front of people that he cannot even give a typical New Year’s address. One may wonder, ‘How can such a CEO manage a company and its many employees?’ But you’d understand if you see how attentively he cares for each individual employee. The CEO has profound affection for his employees and sincerity that are apparent when he remembers the names, faces, and even hobbies of the newly hired employees and presents them with appropriate gifts. Eloquent speech is not necessary for good leadership and even less so for personal relationships. Bill Gates and Facebook’s Marc Zuckerburg say they are introverted. In the end, people do not build relationships based only on what shows outwardly. People give their hearts to those who take interest in them or understand them well. Introverts have the power to approach one step closer to others and focus on them.

 

 

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Benefit 4. They are honest

Introverts often worry and feel frustrated because they ‘don’t express themselves well.’ What they want to say lingers in their heads, but does not easily come out of their mouths. But talking a lot does not correlate with speaking well. It does not always mean one is honest either. Whether you say a lot or a little, if you can convey your point well, then your authenticity will eventually come through. I know a person of very few words. He doesn’t have a very lively personality and doesn’t laugh easily either. Some people even think he is ‘particular’. But I think he is very admirable. Especially when he speaks at meetings, he conveys his point exactly. He doesn’t say much, but his few words often get nailed into my ears. And since he normally doesn’t laugh much, when he does smile brightly, it feels like ‘he really doesn’t put up a false front.’ He has become an icon of ‘honesty’ amongst the people around him. If you are worried about how you speak, rather than concerning yourself over speech style or technique, how about developing the power to speak with ‘sincerity’? People will intuitively feel the sincerity in your words. How much or little you speak is not important. The point is how honest you are.

 

Though we looked into the benefits of introverts today, it is actually not possible to determine which personality is most appropriate for personal relationships. So rather than trying to change your personality to be like others’, wouldn’t examining how you treat people and whether you are really making effort to treat people with sincerity be more important?

9 presentation tips for successful business women

Question

I am a female who started a corporate job about one year ago. Recently, I became in charge of an important presentation.

Since it’s my first experience, I feel pressured and worried. Please advise me on how to improve presentation skills.

 

 

Answer

Anyone would feel pressured when giving a presentation for the first time.

I can recall my first presentation experience, and at that time I felt intimidated and I rushed into things.

First of all, I will not discuss the professional level of preparation for work since it is the foundation. Instead I’d like to mention ways to boost your confidence as a woman.

In my past experience, I spent all my time preparing for a business trip so I looked grubby by the time I had to travel, and as a result my confidence level dropped.

After many trials and errors, I now make sure to follow the 9 steps below prior to an important meeting and especially a business trip.

When I look good, I feel confident, and then I can have composure in my mind.

 

 

1. New hair

I make sure to take care of my hair at a salon 1-2 weeks prior to a business trip.

A fresh hair cut needs time to look natural and there is nothing that can be done if I don’t like it.

So the first thing I do in order to prepare for a business trip is to get a new haircut and learn how to manage it.

 

2. Spa Day

I normally visit a spa 1-2 days prior to a business trip to relax my body that has been through a lot from work.

It feels fabulous to step into a hot tub and take a long and deep breath with my eyes closed.

 

3. Nail Care

I go to a nail salon after I come back from the spa. I normally go the day before the business trip.

I choose a color to match the outfit for the presentation.

The point is that I don’t choose a color that’s too flashy but still bring an interesting balance to my look so I won’t look boring.

I like gel nail and any woman would understand the power of getting her nails done.

 

4. Pick out an outfit to wear for the presentation

I think about the characteristic of the presentation and pick an outfit accordingly.

First, I go through my closet and find the outfit I like, and if there is nothing to wear I go  shopping.

It takes time to prepare for a presentation so I must finish my shopping in one day.

I also take care of steps number 5 and 6 (below) in one day.

Now that I look back, I purchased many clothes using a business trip as an excuse. Shopping is fun anyways.

 

5. Prepare one item which will boost my confidence

This item can be a pretty pen, a designer wallet, or cute stationary.

From small things to expensive things, one can choose anything according to the mood.

By carrying that item, one’s confidence will go up, so make sure to choose a favorite item.

 

6. Prepare a gift for business buyers

I usually give a gift to the buyer after the business meeting is over.

An expensive gift can be overwhelming so I prepare a small but thoughtful gift that reflects my good intentions.

It’s not a gift that anyone can easily find, but I select the gift while considering the buyer’s taste.

I wrap the gift that I picked with sincerity and write a handwritten thank you card.

Then the other person receives my thoughtfulness, not just the gift.

 

7. Wearing High heels

I normally prefer flats but I always wear high-heels for meetings because it plays a big role to boost a women’s confidence.

My body shape looks better in heels and also my posture is better.

It makes me look like a successful business woman.

I absolutely favor high heels.

 

8. Smiling in front of a mirror

I smile in front of a mirror right before the presentation starts.

In my mind, I say ‘I can do this!’ as I fix my makeup in the bathroom.

There is an old saying that no one can spit on a smiling face which means people’s hearts open up to bright energy.

If you feel awkward when smiling, I recommend to practice every day in front of a mirror.

I promise you that there will be improvements.

 

9. Meditation

My last tip is meditation. For one minute or five minutes if I have time, I recall my thoughts of anxiety, fear, burden of success, and stress from past business trips and I throw them away.

Subtraction meditation is truly simple but effective so I always practice this method.

Meditation strengthens the inner energy so when it’s combined with the external preparations that I mentioned above, it creates complete confidence.

 

 

When these tips are written out, it may seem like a lot, but these are simple steps to take in daily life. As long as one thoroughly prepares for work and builds one’s own know-hows, the communication and presentation skills will be excellent. I wish you good luck.

I Cannot Relax When I am Resting

I am a guy who meditates.

Meditation has become the motivation for my daily routine.

I started meditation so that I could just have my own time, and also to rest.

 

Before meditation, I couldn’t relax when I was trying to rest.

Even after working all day, I would still think about work when I was about to go to sleep at night.

Well, that didn’t mean I was such a hard worker, however I would constantly replay episodes at work, or think about jobs that hadn’t been completed: to-do lists, and any unresolved projects.

This pattern of my mind would make me stay up at night or even if I slept, I was far from having quality sleep.

I had too much to do and felt exhausted. I would take some days off and go on vacation, but it still was never easy to recover from my mind.

 

 

People would tell me to rest, but I realized it was not something that had to do with the physical relaxation.

As I was meditating, I realized that it was my mind that had to be figured out.

Meditation enabled me to organize what was going on in my work life.

Through meditation, I was able to sort out and let go of to-do lists, should’ve done lists, and my thoughts and emotions about my relationships with people.

 

When you are at work, you become self-conscious of others’ opinions.

Since I was getting so much feedback from my superiors, colleagues, and other associates, I was getting lost in what I really needed to do and what I wanted.

Work was getting more difficult and I was not happy.

 

For me, meditation was the process of seeking answers-

the process of focusing on my inner voice and figuring out what I want.

Thanks to meditation, now I can sleep better, and I can focus better at work.

 

Written by MAX

 

The Story of Icarus

There may be clear-cut answers in life.

But when those answers are hard to find, our minds are left troubled and vexed.

 

Though many times, there may be definite answers, there are also times that no one can give an answer, and also times when anyone can give an answer.

 

In Greek mythology, Icarus is known as a failure.

Icarus and his father, Daedalus, made wings to escape the Labyrinth. Daedalus warned him not to fly too close to the sun, but Icarus did not follow the advice; and while flying too high, the wax melted and the wings fell apart, so Icarus fell into the sea and died.

 

The lesson commonly taught with this story is a warning against conceit, arrogance, and challenging authority. Daedalus, however, also warned not to fly too low. He could fall into the water because the wings could get wet.

 

Generally, we feel that flying low is ‘safe’.

So we come to terms with lower expectations and modest dreams, believing that they are safer; but that makes us bent on avoiding risks. Also, we believe that obeying authority places us in a safe zone where nothing goes wrong. This is because if we don’t waste efforts on thinking ourselves and just follow orders, we can fly closest to the water without flapping our wings.

 

As society changes, however, what we believe to be a safe zone also gradually changes. Therefore, like Icarus, we need the courage and innovation to fly high.

 

One must fly higher, by breaking free from the comfort and bubble that he has made, to overcome his limitations and achieve change and success for himself.

In order to do this, one must know oneself well. You must know where you are, what you believe is safe, what you believe is the answer, and what it is that you want.

 

Meditation is helpful in finding your self.

Through self-reflection, you can find the path that you seek. Instead of answers that others give, you will find your own direction and exciting answers.

 

Moreover, meditation clears out the garbage in your mind and thus helps in finding direction and answers that you want.

As you clean out the garbage from your mind, one by one, you will realize your own strengths and cultivate your ability to make your own choices and find your own answers instead of relying on others’ decisions and answers.

 

We all have a line that we’ve drawn within our minds. ‘This is weird’, ‘this is normal’, etc. We try to stay within those lines and are afraid to cross them.

 

These lines within your mind block you from growing and trap you in your bubble so that you can’t change.

 

Reference: https://www.facebook.com/0gamm/photos/pcb.1006530009411773/1006529682745139/?type=3&theater

Minimax Regret: While working, a business idea that I want to try came to mind

 

Question

While working, a good business idea came to mind. It was something that I had always wanted to do, but I’m not sure if I will succeed.

At my current job, I am satisfied and even get bonuses. My family also opposes my business idea.

What should I do?

 

 

Answer

In cases like this, using the ‘minimax regret’ approach is effective. They say the CEO of Amazon.com also used this approach.
‘Minimax regret’ is thinking about which decision you would regret the least when you are 80 years old.
Will there be less regret at 80 years of age if you do what you want at 30 years old? Or would it be better to continue working at a good job?

What would the bonus you receive now mean to you when you are 80 years old?

 

 

To figure this out, you need 2 things.

 

  1. Find your own answer to “What do I really want?”
    If you reflect on yourself carefully, you will be able to find the answer to this question.
    You can find what you are happiest doing and what the fundamental thing that you want is when you reflect on the life you have lived.
  2. Your attitude is important.
    If you decide to give something a try, do not be fazed by the many feelings that may bring—fear, loneliness, insecurity, etc.—and just push through. If you cannot focus on what you have decided to do, you will be left with regret and without results.

 

Reference:

https://www.vingle.net/posts/1174887-%EC%95%84%EB%A7%88%EC%A1%B4-CEO-%EC%A0%9C%ED%94%84-%EB%B2%A0%EC%A1%B0%EC%8A%A4%EC%9D%98-%ED%9B%84%ED%9A%8C-%EC%B5%9C%EC%86%8C%ED%99%94-%ED%94%84%EB%A0%88%EC%9E%84

 

World Scholar’s Online Database ‘Coursera’, Now Lecturing Self-Reflection

Lectures on self-reflection meditation that KAIST (Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology) opened on ‘Coursera’, an online education service system in which one can hear lectures from scholars all over the world, are garnering great interest.
This course, which opened last December 7 and continued for 6 weeks until January 17, was called ‘Engineering Self-Reflection for Human Completion’. Duck-Joo Lee, Professor of Aerospace Engineering at KAIST, gave the lectures in English.
With about 140 distinguished participating universities all over the world, such as Stanford, Harvard, MIT, Johns Hopkins, Yale, KAIST, and Tokyo University, ‘Coursera’ offers approximately 1,500 courses to more than 17 million members and is considered to be one of 3 major Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) systems in the world alongside ‘edX’ and ‘Udacity’. The New York Times reviews have stated that “Coursera is growing more quickly than Facebook” and is “the most successful of all online education that is currently available”.
After Coursera officially started offering courses in April 2012, KAIST, in Korea, signed into a membership agreement with Coursera, obtaining an opportunity for KAIST’s best professors to offer their lectures to people all over the world. Currently, KAIST and Yonsei Universities are registered as official partners on Coursera.
The 1,500 or so courses on a variety of subjects such as humanities, management, law, journalism, science, and engineering that have been opened on Coursera include almost all humanities and natural subjects.

Over a period of six weeks, and through a total of 46 lectures, Professor Lee’s course, which fit into the subjects of humanities, education, and engineering, easily introduces the necessity of self-reflection, its principle and practice, the mind-subtraction method that changes ‘me’, etc. The course is also colorfully structured with scientific application and the practice of mind-subtraction and interviews with relevant experts.

The course is eye-catching especially because the human mind and mind-subtraction meditation are explained based on knowledge from not only an engineering and neuroscience standpoint, but also from the viewpoint of philosophy and humanities.
Professor Duck-Joo Lee graduated from Seoul National University’s aviation engineering department, earned his Master’s and Doctorate degrees from Stanford University, and worked at NASA as a researcher for three years before starting his current career as a professor in aerospace engineering at KAIST in 1988. He is a global aerospace engineer who has played big roles in developing Korea’s aviation engineering such as being the team leader of the Task Force in charge of developing military helicopters, developing Korea’s first helicopter ‘Surion’, and participating in the launching of Korea’s first space rocket ‘Naro’, and is currently vice president of the Korea Drone Industry Association and vice president of the American Society of Helicopter.

Despite being an engineer, he started taking interest in the students’ character development, which is not his major field of study, when several KAIST students committed suicide four years ago. At the time, the meditation courses that Professor Lee opened to meet the students’ requests for character building, such as ‘My Life’s Turning Point’ and ‘Exploring and Recovering Human Nature’, received great response. Professor Lee says that was possible because he himself had been practicing Ma Eum Soo Ryun’s mind-subtraction meditation for more than ten years.

Thereafter, Professor Lee has been active as a director in the Academic Society for Human Completion, an academic association of character development experts. He constructed the meditation course on Coursera based on such experiences and outcomes from field education. Professor Lee states that, “Through the mind-subtraction meditation method, which is based on self-reflection, one can objectively look back on the life he has lived.” He continues to explain that “when the negative minds are removed through meditation, one’s inner positive energy can be revealed, one can clearly realize the purpose of life, and one learns how to be free and live a complete life.

Innovative companies like Google, Facebook, and Amazon place value on Coursera certificates when hiring employees and The American Council on Education (ACE) as well as the European Credit Transfer System (ECTS) even transfer credits after course content has been reviewed for eligibility.
Professor Duck-Joo Lee’s self-reflection meditation course is available until February 11. After April, his lectures will be available under the personal development category.

www.coursera.org/course/selfreflection

 

Source: chosun.com (http://danmee.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2016/01/20/2016012002688.html)

 

3 mindsets you need to discard in your work life

 

“When you meditate, you can discard these kind of mindsets.”

 

 

  1. Selfishness

You can never be successful when you think YOU must be the only one to succeed.

 

  1. Negative mind

You can never be successful when you are being negative and pessimistic on the projects given.

 

  1. Timidity

Work is about cooperation. It is good to ask colleagues if you do not know something. If you do not know, learn. That is what your workplace for.